4 Things No One Told Me About Getting Engaged

The anticipation will make you crazy

If you are anything like me, you might be hot on the trail your future betrothed has unintentionally paved out for you. From the moment we set foot in a jeweler with the intention to ACTUALLY purchase a DIAMOND I have been picking up on any possible hint, crumb, or far fetched inkling to try to get an idea of when Conor would actually pop the question. I was fairly certain he wouldn’t let 2019 pass without proposing, as we had previously discussed sometime in 2019 as our ideal time frame. The closer we got to the holidays, the more I started to go a little psycho. What would I wear? What if it didn’t look good in pictures? Would I have to work that day? What if it was dark by the time we were taking photos? What if we didn’t TAKE pictures?! What if my parents weren’t invited to the party? Who would be at the party? Would there BE a party?! What if he doesn’t ask me this year? What if he didn’t even BUY the ring?! It was neverending. The part I WASN’T expecting was how hard it was to make any plans with friends. Every time someone asked me “What are you doing on this day?” I would say to myself “hopefully getting engaged…” Lol. Because I didn’t know when this proposal or potential proposal celebration was happening, I felt like I was in an endless limbo of anticipation with no resolution or ability to make set in stone plans. It was a bit of an event planner’s nightmare – but maybe (probably) a good exercise for me.

The moment is so wonderful that HOW it happens becomes irrelevant

This may seem obvious, but until you experience it for yourself it may be hard to understand. The longer the unending state of anticipatory limbo lingered and all the questions remained unanswered, the more things I thought of that could go wrong. I was thinking of minor details that probably didn’t even matter just because I could. This side of me that just wanted everything to be absolutely perfect was taking over my daily thought track and I seriously could not think of anything else. The funny thing is, the way Conor proposed took all of that and threw it out the window, which is why it was actually perfect. It was NOTHING like what I thought it would be, but none of that mattered. In the moment, I pretty much blacked out from sheer happiness, shock, and excitement. It was all about us and nothing about looks or photos or people or even details. If he hadn’t taken a video of it, I don’t know that I would have even remembered what he said. The point is, the details are fun to obsess over, but they won’t be on your mind in the moment. So chill out, sis, it’s going to be freaking amazing.

You may be strangely emotional even if you’re super happy

Another unexpected piece for me was how emotional I felt the days after we got engaged! I expected to just feel all around giddy- which I was- but I also felt like crying every 10 minutes. This moment is a culmination of some times years of both love and also in many cases hardship you have gone through together. It certainly was for us. My best advice is just to be ok with whatever you are feeling and talk through it with your partner. This is a huge moment in time that really does change your life, so it makes sense to feel all the feels. If you are able, maybe take the next day off work or clear your weekend plans so you have time to process and to rest! You are going to be exhausted from the adrenaline. Conor and I could not believe how fast everything went by the day of. We spent about an hour on the kitchen floor the next day just crying and processing through everything that this moment meant for us.

People will come out of the woodwork to celebrate you

Engagements are a huge deal, and people love to celebrate them! You will, of course, hear from the most important people in your life – but you may be surprised by the flood of encouraging messages, phone calls, and comments you get on social media from just about anyone you have ever known. If you want some time to process in private, maybe wait a few hours or even a few days before posting on social media, because your phone is about to BLOW UP. It is a super fun time and it makes it feel like its really happening. I am so thankful and still overwhelmed by everyone who reached out to congratulate us! It meant so much to us! Be prepared for everyone to ask you questions you may not have answers for yet, such as if you’ve chosen a wedding date or when you want to have kids. Everyone means well and is just looking for a point of connection. If you don’t know, you don’t know. Just be honest and don’t let that stress you out!

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